Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize