dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
