Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize