ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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