If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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