I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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