You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
