**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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