he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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