yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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