i just google imaged poop.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
