she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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