Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
