I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
