I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
