WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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