White coat. Heels.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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