even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
