Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize