I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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