yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
A bitchslap is in order.
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