I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
