You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
