you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
