Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
