My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
