I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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