sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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