Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
