I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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