People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
