If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
FUCK WHALES
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