Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am available for nakedness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
