I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
