A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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