I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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