drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
