Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just had sex on a roof
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
