u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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