i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
