that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
