I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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