***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
