Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
