I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
