Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
