New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
