If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want nice things and good sex
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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