Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
