Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize