I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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