The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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