i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
