The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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