remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
