Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
